Dare to Love

Love. We all long for it. Many abuse it. Some never find it. Few rarely walk in it.

What is Love? Webster's II defines love as an intense affection; a feeling of attraction resulting from sexual desire; enthusiasm or fondness When I asked my teenage daughter and her friend how they would define love they responded, "it's when you have strong feelings for someone, would do anything for them and you put them before yourself." Society depicts love as a fleeting sexual affair full of bliss and has adapted a "throwing-away" mentality that when a relationship gets difficult, it's time to walk away.

But, for the final word on how to define love, we must look to the Bible. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. Love never fails.." In 1 John 4:8 the Bible states, "He who does not love does not know God, for God is Love."

Many songs, poems, and books have been written about love. Debating or trying to teach about love would be frivolous. As always, my intention in blogging is just to share how the Lord is working in my life. I have written a couple blogs on love and my personal battles, the last one was February 28, 2010 titled, "Love & the Battle Within"...looking back, the Lord has been healing and patiently waiting on me. And, I have been struggling, changing and growing.

One of my biggest struggles came when I read Gary Chapman's, The Five Love Languages because I wanted to bring "new life" into my 19 year marriage. When I read that the "in love" experience is euphoric..an illusion and realistically only lasts about two years I became angry. Memories flooded my senses, I began to miss those early years and didn't understand why God would allow us to "fall" so hard and deeply "in-love" only for those feelings not to last and become something you have to "work for." As I read on (and it seems every where I turned) I kept hearing, reading and seeing that love is a choice.

Love is a choice? What?!?! Are you serious? I am ashamed to admit that was my reaction. But, I pressed in and I am pressing on. I am beginning to see that love is truly a decision and not just a feeling. I understand this now, not only with my spouse, but in all relationships with family, friends, and church.

One thing that I have learned in my life is that there is a deep longing in the human soul and even as a child I began to look for love in all the wrong places to fill that void. I began to build walls to protect me from getting hurt, and when I started getting too close to someone I would shut down.  I thank God that He didn't build such a wall. God loved us so much, even with all our "mess", He sent Jesus to die for us. It's only been in the past year that I have truly let God love me and allowed Him to fill me with His love. It has not been easy for me, and I'm sure it hasn't been easy for my family and friends. Just recently I caught myself trying to push someone away that I have become close to, I realized this the day after I acted like an idiot over something completely irrelevant. It was through God's mercy and grace that He showed me this pattern and the Holy Spirit quickly guided me to repent and admit my shortcomings to them. I praise the Lord because this was such a breakthrough for me. I'm not only daring to love...with true love, I'm letting others love me.

Sometimes I just weep because I don't understand how He can love me so much, I am nothing. But, because of His love I can rise up and allow Him to break down my misconceptions of love. I have let God fill that longing in my soul with His unconditional love. I am learning to love myself, despite myself. I am learning to lead my heart and love others, despite themselves. And, I am moving into a deeper love walk with my husband.

I know that love may come so natural for some. But, for others like myself, it's been a journey in realizing it's a choice, making a firm decision to love has been a revelation. I'm thankful that I'm learning to walk in love. If your one like me, I encourage you...dare to love too.