Losing My Life

I'm totally amazed by God.  I know that people say that all the time; but really - I am.  I started down a path at the beginning of the year with one thing in mind - myself.  If you read my last post you can get a glimpse of what I'm talking about.  Now, for the most part - I am still digging deep and reflecting on "me" so that I can be all the God wants me to be, but my intentions are different.  I am discovering me again while allowing the Lord to lead me.  However, what God has done over the past month and half I honestly didn't see coming.

I am reminded that, "the Lord has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans for a hope and a future." (Jer 29:11), The Message reads it this way - This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

What happens when a child of God embarks on her own journey without consulting her Father? Well I can tell you first hand...it's not a pleasant experience.  Even though I had spiritual unrest and turmoil I kept rebelling from what I knew was the right thing because all I could see was the tempting deception of the enemy.  I'm so thankful for a merciful God.  He gently reminded me often but I still retreated in the flesh, over and over.  Then, it happened.  I received such a stern and direct warning from the Lord that I ran to the cross.  And, when I did - He spoke clearly to me; "Melissa, in order to save your life you first must lose it."

Now - this may be scary for some people to process. But, this is from the word of God. I knew that and I had to dig in my bible to find it.  Matthew 16:25 reads, "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." This of course is not in the literal sense but in the spiritual way of dying to the flesh and being spirit-led.

My husband wisked me away to a cabin in the middle of nowhere so we could enter into prayer together.  We read, prayed and rested for 2 days.  That weekend literally saved my life. 

I can honestly say now I am doing ME but, I am the ME that the Lord so desires.  I gave up my worldly ambitions, the ones that did not include Him.  I walked away from my career. His plan for me is to get my home in order - spiritually, emotionally, and financially.  The woman is the HEART of the home, I am busy nurturing my teenagers to become rooted and grounded in the word, to love and respect. I don't have much time left with them in my home.  I am busy being my husband's help-mate - his support. I often worried that it was "too late" for some things but God has everything in control and His timing is perfect.  I'm thankful that He heard my cries and He is right on time.

I'm so excited about this season in my life.  Who knew that my total peace would come when I totally abandoned myself for the Lord and my family. I'm not going to look at the past and kick myself for the years I spent going in circles....I'm going to look to the bright and promising future that the Lord has promised through my obedience and faith. 

Thank You Jesus - I'm truly humbled.