It's NEVER too late!

Praise the Lord. New Day. New Week. New Month. New Year. Welcome 2012.

Today I enjoyed an amazing church service, some time with friends and family and a little lazy down time. I watched the 2007 movie, Waitress that I randomly caught with 45 minutes left; something I usually never do because who wants to watch the end of a movie you have never seen? Not this girl. But, for some reason I was intrigued and kept watching. And then, there it was. A scene when a elderly man, Old Joe, tenderly looked at his young pregnant friend Jenna who was just stuck in life and passed on some wisdom. Wisdom that leaped off the screen and right into my spirit!

Old Joe:  "I am sayin' my whole life I spent lost. The sign said go this way, I'd go the other way. Time after time after time I'd turn the wrong corner, make the wrong choice. Went the wrong way like a chicken without a head. Do you understand?"

Jenna: "You were a chicken without a head?"

Old Joe: "Jenna, listen to me please. I'm sayin' make the right choice. Start fresh. It's never too late. Start fresh.

Now, this spoke to me on so many levels and I just wanted to share it. No matter where you are in life, no matter if you are a new mom, a seasoned mom, a grandmother, a single woman, this quote can speak volumes and I needed it. It reminded me that I can't change my past but I can change my future. No matter what 2011 looked like, 2012 can be better.

I'm making changes. I'm claiming my fresh start. I'm tired of "going in circles", doing the same things, getting the same results. I'm walking in faith one day at a time. I am believing God and I'm moving forward. I don't know where you are right now emotionally, spiritually, or physically but God does. He sees your heart, He knows what you are going through and He is just waiting for you to make the right choice.

It's never too late. Start Fresh.

Dare to Love

Love. We all long for it. Many abuse it. Some never find it. Few rarely walk in it.

What is Love? Webster's II defines love as an intense affection; a feeling of attraction resulting from sexual desire; enthusiasm or fondness When I asked my teenage daughter and her friend how they would define love they responded, "it's when you have strong feelings for someone, would do anything for them and you put them before yourself." Society depicts love as a fleeting sexual affair full of bliss and has adapted a "throwing-away" mentality that when a relationship gets difficult, it's time to walk away.

But, for the final word on how to define love, we must look to the Bible. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. Love never fails.." In 1 John 4:8 the Bible states, "He who does not love does not know God, for God is Love."

Many songs, poems, and books have been written about love. Debating or trying to teach about love would be frivolous. As always, my intention in blogging is just to share how the Lord is working in my life. I have written a couple blogs on love and my personal battles, the last one was February 28, 2010 titled, "Love & the Battle Within"...looking back, the Lord has been healing and patiently waiting on me. And, I have been struggling, changing and growing.

One of my biggest struggles came when I read Gary Chapman's, The Five Love Languages because I wanted to bring "new life" into my 19 year marriage. When I read that the "in love" experience is euphoric..an illusion and realistically only lasts about two years I became angry. Memories flooded my senses, I began to miss those early years and didn't understand why God would allow us to "fall" so hard and deeply "in-love" only for those feelings not to last and become something you have to "work for." As I read on (and it seems every where I turned) I kept hearing, reading and seeing that love is a choice.

Love is a choice? What?!?! Are you serious? I am ashamed to admit that was my reaction. But, I pressed in and I am pressing on. I am beginning to see that love is truly a decision and not just a feeling. I understand this now, not only with my spouse, but in all relationships with family, friends, and church.

One thing that I have learned in my life is that there is a deep longing in the human soul and even as a child I began to look for love in all the wrong places to fill that void. I began to build walls to protect me from getting hurt, and when I started getting too close to someone I would shut down.  I thank God that He didn't build such a wall. God loved us so much, even with all our "mess", He sent Jesus to die for us. It's only been in the past year that I have truly let God love me and allowed Him to fill me with His love. It has not been easy for me, and I'm sure it hasn't been easy for my family and friends. Just recently I caught myself trying to push someone away that I have become close to, I realized this the day after I acted like an idiot over something completely irrelevant. It was through God's mercy and grace that He showed me this pattern and the Holy Spirit quickly guided me to repent and admit my shortcomings to them. I praise the Lord because this was such a breakthrough for me. I'm not only daring to love...with true love, I'm letting others love me.

Sometimes I just weep because I don't understand how He can love me so much, I am nothing. But, because of His love I can rise up and allow Him to break down my misconceptions of love. I have let God fill that longing in my soul with His unconditional love. I am learning to love myself, despite myself. I am learning to lead my heart and love others, despite themselves. And, I am moving into a deeper love walk with my husband.

I know that love may come so natural for some. But, for others like myself, it's been a journey in realizing it's a choice, making a firm decision to love has been a revelation. I'm thankful that I'm learning to walk in love. If your one like me, I encourage you...dare to love too.

YES....I will Clean and Pull those Weeds!

As I looked around the house this week I realized there is some serious cleaning that needs to be done. Not just the quick pick up and go as I've been doing alot of lately. But a scrub the floors, wipe down furniture with murphy oil soap, and scrub bathrooms kind of clean. And, to top that off, when I walked outside Monday I saw my walkway with weeds taking root and choking out my bushes and flowers my mom and I planted this spring.

These household tasks haven't been done because I've either been too lazy or just been out and about enjoying the pool, etc. and well, let's just say it ....avoiding the "deep cleaning" and "pulling weeds" in the hot summer days.  So, here I am having coffee, listening to K-love and "thinking" about all these things that need to be done when it hit me. Or should I say, Holy Spirit strikes again. Not only have I been avoiding the physical tasks at hand, I've been avoding the spiritual cleaning that I personally need as well! OUCH!

Many times we get so distracted and caught up in everyday life that we just run through our daily chores with a quick "swiffer" picker upper and put stuff out of sight so we (or others) don't have to see the mess. And, sadly we do the same thing spiritually and emotionally. We don't want to stop long enough to deal with any of the mind battles and struggles we are facing. We don't want to address the emotional roller coaster we may be on - so we tend to just "cover up" by staying even more busy and distracted!  Before long, we have dust settling in our spirit, "stuff" consuming our thoughts, and we have weeds choking out the joy of the Lord in our life - hiding the beauty a daily spirit-filled woman of God possesses.

My challenge for the remainder of the week is as I work from room to room, I will stop and ask the Lord to reveal areas in my heart, mind and spirit that needs a dusting, deep cleaning and even "weeding".  I know I have them.....this is a journey. We aren't perfect. And along the way we pick up some dirt and allow the "weeds" of the world to chock out what the Lord wants to blossom.  I want to be ever growing, ever becoming a clean vessel for the Lord to use.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me."  Psalm 51:10

Garbage In, Garbage Out

I grew up hearing my stepmother say, "Garbage In, Garbage Out." This phrase simply means when you are constantly feeding your spirit "garbage" that's what is going to come out! The Word of God says it this way, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." We could further say this...out of the heart the mind speaks, feels and the body acts. As a parent of two teenagers - this phrase is continually on my lips.  I don't think I'm getting through to them so much right now, but at least I am sowing into their lives and giving them some guiding principles.  I'm heartbroken at what has become of what should be the most innocent and carefree days of their lives. 

I see the biggest change beginning in Middle School. I believe Middle School is hard enough when children are trying to discover their identity, go through puberty, and process new relationships; but when you mix in all the "technology and media" they become consumed and their spirit goes into turmoil. The constant gaming, texting, social networking sites, "apps" for phones, "risky" television shows, etc. creates a dumping site in their spirit. Their minds don't even have a chance to "shut down" and relax, the junk just keeps piling up.

Even though we don't want to admit it or think about it, these are the years when the girls are realizing they like boys and vice versa. These are the years when they should be sneaking around playing "spin the bottle", "truth or dare" and "kissing tag".  Don't get me wrong; I HATE to think about such things, because that's my baby we are talking about, BUT in reality it's part of growing up.  Sadly, today they aren't running around playing these games, they are "sexting", sending "nude or inappropiate pictures", watching televisions shows made for teenagers that make ME blush!, and living in a world of constant drama.

As much as we want to shelter our children from them we can't always to do so. We have to keep things "real" with them and be honest about what they are experiencing. One of the biggest mistakes we have made as parents was to allow our kids to get cells phones and facebook in middle school.  I can't go back and change that now, I can only discipline, guide them and monitor their usuage.  I am convinced that the constant 24/7 intake of "catty drama", texting, facebook, music, and TV shows they are watching is producing the "garbage" overflow in their spirits.  When the spirit (full of trash) just can't take anymore it overflows out of the mouth and body with disrespect and rebellion. This is true at any age really - but for me I'm living through it so I can see the clarity through my teenagers.  Sadly, I do see it in adults and at times have to "check myself" at what I am allowing into my spirit. 

The Bible tells us to fill our minds with good things in Philippians 4:8-9. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

As parents we need not only guard our own hearts, it's up to us to protect our children from the "garbage" penetrating theirs. I contantly hear "I'm the only kid who doesn't have...., I'm the only one who isn't allowed.., You don't understand..., I hate my life...etc". But, I am okay with that because the Lord made me responsbile for my children and I answer to Him alone.

I'm a mother to my teenagers; not their friend. I make mistakes, they make mistakes...but that's what unconditional love is...full of grace and mercy. We just have to keep our eye on the prize and perservere. I'm holding on to the promise of God, "Train up a child in they way they should go, and he will not depart from it."